you failed, NOW GET TO THE BAR!

Humm, that looks nice doesn't it. Especially as the weathers turning and starting to become ideal 'nice cold pint' weather. And it'll taste all the better because its free. Free beer? you say. but How? Why? Well my friends, this is no ordinary free pint, this pint (not literally this one its a picture) signifies failure, it embodies a lack of discipline in Lisa that is unforgivable.This pint is the free pint she owes me because she couldn't be arsed to take a picture of a tramps dog, AND GOD WILL I ENJOY IT. Apparently she is going to carry on with her 'quest' but now i feel it is a joke as she missed another lonely tramps dog yesterday. Im disappointed but i do love an 'i told you so' moment. Cheers.

all building sites should look like this

Orchestral manouvres kept me in the dark

Last week i got a bit classical at Royal Festival Hall on another magical mystery trip of free stuff from my friend Nik. Last time it ended messily with a pair of flippers and a giant cat from Texas on a James Bond river cruise but as you can imagine the Orchestra was a little more sedate. In fact the only thing that was ridiculous was the price of the nano ice creams in the foyer.

So i donned my cultural hat and took in something-ofski in b flat. Now me and Nik were both in the school band (miming the Trombone was my speciality) so i think we were more than qualified to be there and as good as the music was i still didn't know when a dramatic pause turned into an interval or what the hell the conductor was actually doing.

Who put the 'T' in Tea

Tea is the undoubted staple of the Englishman's (or woman's) diet, its even been proven to be good(ish) for us. Excellent! But is it merely its history or its anti-oxidants that keep us hooked? Or does its popularity have a darker side?? I believe our tea drinking habits are being manipulated by (drum roll please) ... Alliteration. There are no tea brands in Britain that don't have any T's in them. They've all got at least one. Think about it...

Twinings
Lipton
PG Tips
Tetley
Typhoo
Yorkshire Tea ( now there is debate about this one but you never ask for a cup of 'Yorkshire' do you? people would think you were a mental)

Video Killed the Radio...No I think we did.

Yes it's official our very first radio advertisement is on the air waves as i type.
It's a ad for Rennie Dual Action, 'Indigestion and Heartburn Relief in just 2 minutes' incase you were wondering. It was a tight brief that we had to fit with the TV and we wrote over 25 ads, about 5 of which we were pretty proud of. 3 went through to the client but which one got brought?, the god dam talking meatballs!!! So there you go, i think we've done our part to bring radio advertising down to an even lower level but hey we got to record it with some minor celebrities and got a dam good lunch out of it so you know swings and roundabouts.



Thanks guys, you were fantastic meatballs.

Yet another reason why Lisa should join the circus...

One quiet night in the flat i was sat watching Strictly Come Dancing (don't judge me) when the silence was broken. "Gem. Gem, Gem. Look, look at this" I turn around and there is Lisa sat there looking smug holding up her hands and casting a Shadow puppet on the wall. No big deal you say? Not normally no but this particular Shadow was the spit of country singing legend Johnny Cash. And it didn't stop there...

Elvis has entered the building.

Nice to see him, to see him nice

Lisa: It's a talent, you can't deny the circus will probably pay better than placements so if it all goes wrong...

Robson Green saved my life... (A Likely Story)

We all know Robson Green to be the kind of cheeky chappy that your mum fancies in ITV Dramas or the man going through midlife crisis with hilarious consequences in ITV Dramas or the detective with a secret that will at some point cleverly tie in the plot in ITV Dramas. Now i know him as the man who saved my life... from all those ITV Dramas.
It all happened so quickly, one minute i was happily swinging my lunch around walking back to work, the next i'd been pulled out of the path of a speeding (that's a slight exaggeration, i do that) taxi by a tiny arm belonging to said ITV Drama star. I'm definitely not mistaken (as some jealous individuals would suggest) as we are the same height so i couldn't miss his face and he even spoke Geordie to me. So ... thanks Robson, i will never (let any of my friends) forget what you did.

Yeah Gem where's the proof, where's the autograph, where's picture on your flashy (if slightly chavy) phone. It all seams just a little too good to be true. A D list Celebrity and a life saving story in one, some may say you took it too far and you should have stuck to just one story. I'm not saying its complete rhubarb, I'm your loyal creative partner and would never suggest such a thing. Earlier this year for example when you claimed that somewhere in the Midlands during the floods, that there was a cathedral up to the spire with water, I waited at least a minute or so before laughing, because thats what good parners do! I'm just just saying look what happened to the boy who cried wolf. Just think about it.